God Moments

I believe you can hear God and feel God’s presence.  I can name a few times in my life when I simply knew that God was there with me.  It felt as if a warm sensation rushed my body and a peace entered my soul that I knew no human could create.  These experiences are what have birthed an understanding in me that if I ask God repeatedly for His Will to be done in my life; He will instruct me in the ways He would like me to go.  It’s not always easy waiting for a “sign” or an “answer” that may take time and patience (which I lack all the time), but it is worth the moment when I know God is instructing me. 

Last Tuesday, I had a BIG test.  Some may not have seen it as a BIG test, but to me it was.  Simply put, it was a general placement test that every student must take in order to place them in the correct level of classes.  I had been dreading even taking the test and it was literally, a miracle that I even showed up at the campus that morning.  I am a very good talker; by that I mean, I can talk myself out of anything.  I am certainly an easy target for someone to tear me down by discouraging me and doubting me because I will most likely believe what you tell me.  I am a people pleaser at heart, so words are powerful in my life, because what comes out of yours (whether right or wrong) will enter my mind as truth when it is something said about me.  I am working on this every day and hope to continue to please people but not by those standards.  “You can’t please everyone!” 

I doubted my performance on the test because of the time that had passed since I had been a student.  A lot had changed since then and I had trouble remembering algebra and English punctuation.  It should have been simple, but to me it was a true test as to whether or not I could be a student again.  I was taking this test in order to take another test in three months.  That test would allow me to start nursing school which had been a dream of mine.  As of last Tuesday, I was unsure whether I was still making the right decision.  I currently work in a hospital and I love it.  I love interacting with patients (mine which range from newborns to 21 year olds) and being a part of the team that heals people.  However, it hadn’t taken much to discourage me from applying to nursing school with fears that I would never get in.  It was these fears that led me to pray before that test last Tuesday.  I had been researching other careers and really thought that might be the better way to go.  Thinking back, I was really taking this test to prove to myself that I wasn’t good enough for nursing school.  I prayed before the test to God; that He would show me through this test which career I was suppose to pursue.  I promised Him that whichever one it was; I would start pursuing it one hundred percent.  I would work harder than ever to get there because I knew after this test, that it would be His Will.  My exact words to Him, “If I am not meant to go to nursing school, please make me fail this test so bad that I will know that it’s not your Will but if I am meant to be a nurse, make me do so well that I will know that it wasn’t me that was smart enough but that it was you telling me to go forth in nursing.”  That was it; a simple prayer that would end all confusion and possibly give me the answer I had been waiting on. 

After a couple of hours, I had completed the test and took my printed results down to a counselor where she told me whether or not I would be “invited” to take the next test.  The next twenty minutes in her office are what I call “God moments.”  (A time when you know it was all God because there is no way it could have been me)  She reviewed my results and on an index card with the mandatory scores in black ink; she wrote my scores beside them and then turned it around for me to see.  I had gotten nearly perfect scores in every category!  Not only had I reached the mandatory scores but I had gone twenty or so points above.  I couldn’t help but get teary eyed, not because of the scores but because God had come through and told me obviously where He wanted me to be.  That was it; that was all I needed, just a little confirmation from Him to let me know that I could handle nursing school and that I needed to stop being so scared and start doing what He wanted. 

I guess you can make something as big or as little as you want but to me, that wasn’t just a coincidental moment but a God moment.  They don’t always happen so obviously but it’s a time in life when you know God is close and He listens and He just wants to love us and be the One that we turn to.  He’s always capable.