Sticks & Stones

Sticks and Stones is the current series at our church and this week’s message revolved around our approach in difficult situations.  Pastor Steven’s message was amazing and had several tips on working through conflict but it was a quote that has caught my attention all day.  “What others think of me is none of my business” by Eleanor Roosevelt hit me like a fire ball this morning and I have been trying to recover ever since.  I am a people pleaser.  Sometimes I feel that I would do better if I walked around with a t shirt on letting others know that up front.  I sincerely struggle with telling people “no” and it affects me deeply when I feel that others aren’t pleased with me. 

So when I heard this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt my immediate response wasn’t towards gossip or teasing but the thoughts that others have about me as a person, a wife, a sister or co-worker.  There have been many nights that I’ve laid awake, upset that someone may not have approved of my choice or agree with my statement.  Living my life with what others think as the guidelines has to stop.  I am a good person and I am a hard worker.  I try to do my best daily and when I fail I am quick to stand back up and try again but it’s the debilitating thoughts of “what if” that have held me back or redirected my path.  How sad to think of the decisions made because of others opinions or the missed opportunities because of what others may say. 

Pastor Steven went on to teach about how we can be our hardest critics.  Can I get an amen?  I believe women are some of the worst at this.  We spend so much time beating ourselves up daily.  Pastor Steven spoke of two statements that we tell ourselves; “you are not able” and “you are only...”  I can’t begin to count all the times those slogans have circled in my head.  I am not able to achieve that goal.  I am not able to take that position.  I am not able to speak with that authority.  I am not able to associate with that person.  I am only 25. I am only a woman.  I am only a CNA.  I am only a wife.  I am only….and on and on it goes.  Again, with putting others thoughts about myself above my own and cycling with the “I am not able” and “I am only” can not only be debilitating but forever crippling until something is done to fix it. 

What if I woke up tomorrow and made the day’s decisions and actions based solely on what God would have me do and how God would have me act in those situations?  What if I solely spoke and acted to please Him?  What if in addition to putting his desires for my life first, I also took away the limitations of “I am not able” and “I am only”?  With God I can do all things through Him, so with Him standing with me, my limits are gone and my sights are set on a life lived through His desires for me.  How freeing it sounds to take away limitations or fear of other’s disapproval, but how do I do that?  People pleasing and the “self doubt” talk have become normal after years of practice, so how do I turn around now?  I’d say the first step is to immerse myself in worship.  By reading the Word, listening to worship music, surrounding myself with encouraging, wise people I can retrain my brain to think about God’s plan first?   Everything begins with small steps so it’s by making small but repeated decisions based on God’s plan for my life that I can change my people pleasing, self-doubting habit into a limitless walk with God that will birth a happier, healthier life.  I pray that we all spend a little less time in the worry of what others think or say and more time in God’s awesome plan for our life.  May we refrain from debilitating speech and thoughts and embrace our new life with Christ.