It was eight years ago...
it looks a bit hazy now in my mind...
but I can feel the love like it was yesterday.
I was driving back to college from my parent's house. I had been in a dark place for a long time. You wouldn't have known that by looking at me or my Facebook page but I had made bad decisions that led to consequences and those consequences were bringing me to my brink. I didn't know how to maneuver through and I knew I couldn't get myself out of this one. If I was right then my life had changed forever and even if I were wrong then I would wake up the next morning in the same position I had been settling in for months.
I was driving down the road with all this swirling in my mind when I decided to turn on a Christian radio station. I hadn't listened to "Christian" music in a long time but if ever there was a night, this was it. It didn't take long... the lyrics played through the speakers and into my heart. I just started balling, sobbing like never before. I was broken and lost and lonely. On the outside I had everything; a great family, friends, a cheerleading scholarship and had started my freshman year in college but on the inside I was empty. Something had been missing and that was evident as I sat in my car crying like a child.
It was in that moment of brokenness when I gave up; I gave up control and selfishness and just let go. Thats when He reached down, right out of the Heavens and touched me. The best way I can explain it was a warmth, a peace and a over whelming love that cured every pain and every sorrow. There in my car God touched me.. after so many years and so many sins, He was there, right there with me and I gave it all to Him. I promised that if He would just take the pain and regret I would live my life for Him all the days of my life.
I had been around church and I had heard people's testimonies but it never made sense to me until that night. His Presence and the overwhelming, all consuming love that He showed me were awesome, remarkable and indescribable in earthly terms. There was no doubt in my mind that it was God and that moment with Him birthed a fire in my soul. When you've been in His Presence like that you can't keep it to yourself, you have to share it with everyone around you and pray that they will experience it too.
That same night I returned to my college dorm room and called my mom. I told her what had happened and I met with our campus pastor the next day. I started a small women's group on our college campus and found a passion for women's ministry.
Life didn't change immediately. There were relationships that needed to end and new ones that needed to begin. I needed a church and a small group of people to support, encourage and influence me with wisdom. I started reading the Bible and joined a small college ministry. Life still kicks you down from time to time but once you've accepted Christ as your Savior you have new resources to keep climbing back up and fighting for a better tomorrow. It's not perfect; it never will be but it's freedom and it's the greatest love you'll ever embrace.
I started writing because it has been a way for me to reach others; a way to work out a calling in my life but I never want what I write to become internal or stale. I want to use my story and what I have experienced through Christ to reach others. I want to connect with people near and far and join with them in prayer and counsel. It's taken me years to bury the fear to write this testimony because it is as personal as I can get but if God reached down to me in that dark night, He can reach you too and He wants to take your pain and give you eternal life. I pray that this testimony and many others are shared between family, friends and strangers. This is just one story and I would be honored if you would share your story with me. Please comment below or email breatheinthespirit@gmail.com.
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