It's ok for me to have those thoughts but it's not ok for me to let those wishes steer my day. One of my biggest fears with motherhood is that I wish away these moments and wake up in the future too quickly. I can't keep him little any more than I can control his attitude on some days but I can control my perspective and my fight for one more story and five more minutes of play. There's a saying "Little boys should never be sent to bed they always wake up a day older" and recently I have felt this with Crew. I feel like every morning he has a new tooth or he's that much closer to walking or he's less interested in cuddles and more interested in playing without his momma.
Some days I lose this battle but other days I put the phone down, turn the television off, put makeup aside and we enjoy our day in pajamas surrounded by tractors, trucks and blocks. I don't usually feel productive on these days but I know my son feels loved and I feel the love between us. Some days are filled with errands and to dos and laundry but on days like today I get it right more than wrong and I rest in knowing that these moments are fading away faster and faster everyday.
So today I didn't do dishes, I didn't get laundry folded and I lived in sweats, hair in a bun and no makeup. The house isn't clean and dinner was leftover Chinese food. Today Crew and I enjoyed play time, story time and this North Carolina weather. We rode the four wheeler and went fishing. We watched the sunset and rode through the fields.
I remember how I used to dream of days like today and I don't want to wish them away now that they're here.
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